


SOLDIER BOY

by fhsa_archivist



Category: Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-12
Updated: 2011-09-12
Packaged: 2019-02-05 17:10:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12798741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhsa_archivist/pseuds/fhsa_archivist
Summary: Jack gets drafted and is sent to Viet Nam





	SOLDIER BOY

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

Title: SOLDIER BOY  
Author: Donna McIntosh  
Email: dmcintoshtx@yahoo.come   
Fandom: Brokeback Mountain  
Genre: Slash  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: I do not own BBM, AP does, and I make no money from these stories.  
Summary: Jack gets drafted and sent to Viet Nam. 

SOLDIER BOY

Ennis lay beside his new wife and listened to her breathing. She was fast asleep. Since her pregnancy announcement, it seemed all she did was sleep. Everything was all so different than he thought it would be. 

When his sister Elizabeth got married and again when K.E. got married they both seemed so happy! He had been so sure it would be the same with himself. Alma was a nice enough girl. No raving beauty but kind of cute. Her momma was teaching her to cook and she was getting a little better though she whined about it every night. Some nights it was just easier to do the cooking himself than to listen to her whine about it.

Maybe having this baby will make things better. He'd have a real family then. Maybe she'd be more like her momma and sister then. More into home making and not so much into whining.

He wondered what it would be like having a little baby to care for. He hoped he'd be a good daddy. One thing for sure, he was going to love this baby with all his heart, and see to it that nobody bullied him or her. This baby was going to know that it was loved and wanted and cared for.

He turned over and tried to sleep. He was bone tired but couldn't sleep. He turned over again – as far away as he could get from Alma. He wondered if he ought to say something to her about that stuff she put on her face at night. It really stunk to high-heaved. He decided he'd better keep his mouth shut about it. He didn't want to give her one more reason to complain. She already complained about everything under the sun.

He closed his eyes tightly and tried to think of something else. He thought about blue skies, green fields, and Jack Twist grinning at him. He remembered the stink of the sheep, the crisp cold nights in the little tent, and Jack's cold nose against his bare back. He remembered the smell of Jack, sweat, seamen, whiskey, cigarettes and the canvas of the tent. He grew hard beneath the blankets and gave his pajama clad hard-on a squeeze. Being with Jack had been so good! He was sure that being with Alma would be even better because being with a woman was the way it was supposed to be. He knew in his heart that being with Jack was wrong, but it was just for that short time up on the mountain. It's not like anyone could ever find out what they did and he knew he'd never see Jack again anyway. It sure had been good though. He must be doing something wrong with Alma because it wasn't nearly as good with her as it was with Jack.

X~~X~~X

Basic training wasn't nearly as bad as he thought it was going to be. In fact, he was kind of enjoying it. He had a clean bed to sleep in every night, food to eat every day, clean clothes to wear, and lots of other guys his age in the same boat he was. He thrived on the exercise, strict regimen and free health care. He filled out nicely that year, learned self-defense and became a passable shot with the rifle. Yes sir, the Army life was just the thing for Jack Twist. He couldn't even remember why he had feared it so much. All the screaming and yelling and occasional punch he got from his superiors was nothing compared to what he had put up with from his dad when he was a kid and later on from the bulls he'd been trying to ride. And in basic, it wasn't just him alone but a whole gang of buddies going through the same thing he was.

Fort Gordon in Georgia wasn't bad or Fort Huachuca in Arizona either; though the heat there nearly killed him. It wasn't until he ended up in C company, in Chu Lai, Vietnam that he first got really scared. He huddled in his tent beneath a lantern hung from the center support and wrote his weekly letter to his mom. It was still an hour until lights out so he decided to write one more letter.

“Hey Ennis, How are you doing? Don't know if you'll even get this letter or not but thought I'd write you anyway. Guess you can see by the return address that the Army got me after all. It's not too bad – yet. I kept hoping I'd get lost in the shuffle but my number came up and here I am sitting in a tent in the mud and constant rain. It ain't let up none since we got here! Fucking rain! I hate it. We ain't supposed to say where we are but I'm guessing you got a pretty good idea. Ain't seen no action yet but we can hear it off in the distance. Don't know how anyone could be fighting in this muck though. Spose I'll be in it soon enough once it clears up some.

Hope you're doing okay. Did you get married like you said you was going to? Write me and let me know how you're doing and who. Ha ha ha.

Jack Twist”

He sealed the letter and addressed it: Ennis del Mar, General Delivery, Riverton Wyoming, and put it with his other letter. He'd take them over to the mail hut in the morning. He lay in his bunk thinking about Ennis for a long time and remembered their time together on the mountain. It was only when he heard the sniffling of his tent mates in the darkness that he was brought back to the reality of his situation and the fear would seep in again. 

 

X~~X~~X

 

Ennis both loved and hated the end of the work day. He loved it because he got to rest from the hard work and got to go home and spend time with his baby girl; but hated it because it meant another round of arguing with Alma over everything from how dirty he got his clothes to how angry she was because they took her favorite soap off to talk about some wild fires in the area.

The baby was crying as usual when he came in the door. He would much rather have been able to grab a shower before he had to see to her but he could always tell from the looks of her that she'd been crying for a long time and needed seeing to. He'd give Alma a peck on the cheek and go into the baby's room and pick her up. She'd stop crying immediately. He hated to put her back down but he had to. From the way she smelled, he could tell she hadn't been changed in a good long time. She cried at first when he lay her down but began cooing and smiling at him once he started caring for her.

After the diaper change he carried the baby into the kitchen and put her in the high chair next to Alma who was standing at the sink scrubbing diapers on an old wash board. He never could figure out why she always waited until almost dinner time to start that but figured it was just a way to show him how hard she worked and make him feel guilty for not moving into town where she could be using her sister's nice new washing machine she'd gotten for Christmas.

He kissed the top of the baby's head and said he'd be right back and headed in for a quick shower. He hadn't even gotten into the shower yet when he heard the crying start up again and Alms's angry voice saying, “Oh quiet down, will you. He'll be right back.”

He sighed and stepped into the shower and soaped up quickly. He hated to think what the baby went through all day long while he was at work. He couldn't understand why Alma was so distant to the baby. Junior was such a darling child and always good as gold when Ennis was around. 

Ennis pulled the high chair up next to the table and talked to the baby while Alma took the last of the diapers she'd been working on out to the line to dry. She lingered far longer than she needed to but Ennis sat patiently and waited for her to get back inside and open the cans of spam and green beans and sullenly warm them up and sat them on the table.

“Mmmm Smells good.” Ennis said as he forked some spam onto his plate.

“I hate this stuff. I don't know how you can eat it. Couldn't we please get some round steak this weekend when we go into town? Doctor says I won't never get my strength back if I don't eat right.”

“We'll see.” Ennis said between bites. What he really wanted to say was that she'd never get her strength back as long as she lay in bed till noon every day, then did nothing all afternoon but watch her soaps and occasionally give the baby a bottle of milk. He fingered the baby's dark curls and caressed her soft cheek as she cooed contentedly beside him.

Alma ate a few bites and got up, left the table and retreated to the couch where she lay down utterly exhausted from washing the six diapers and opening two cans for supper. Ennis scooted the high chair over by the sink where he started the water running and poured a little JOY in the dish pan. He washed the dishes all the while talking with the cooing baby. After the dishes were all wiped and put away he ran the dish pan full again, undressed the baby and put her in. She loved her bath. He couldn't understand why Alma had such a hard time with it. She said the baby screamed all through it and finally just gave up and left the bathing chore to Ennis. 

Ennis had the baby all cleaned, powered, and dressed and back in the high chair while he fixed her evening bottle with milk, fruit and a bit of cereal in it. He carried her to bed and she went down easily. Ennis went back into the living room and sat down with a sigh.

“Ennis, you know someone name a Jack? A soldier?” Alma asked.

“Huh?” Ennis brought his tired head up off the back of the chair. 

“Sissy came by today and she brung our mail. There was a letter for you. Come General Delivery. Got a funny return address. Sissy said it was a soldier's address. Like it come from over seas or somethin.”

“What? Where is it?” Ennis got up out of his chair.

“Over on the sewin machine. The rest a the mail was just junk. I was hopin for somethin from Momma but there wasn't nothin. You'd think she'd write and at least ask about Junior!”

Ennis fumbled through the junk mail and pulled out his letter. “Jack!” It came out in a hoarse whisper. “I got me a letter from Jack!” He thought those words but didn't say them out loud. The last thing he wanted to do right then was explain about Jack to Alma.

“Is he somebody you cowboyed with?” Alma asked.

“Nah. Jack rodeoed mostly. We was fishin buddies.” Ennis left the room and headed for the bathroom. He didn't want to read his letter from Jack in front of Alma.

He sat on the toilet and read the letter and then re-read it. The Army got him. They got my Jack!  
Ennis folded the letter up placed it on the sink while he relieved himself. He washed his hands then picked the letter up and read it again.

He couldn't touch Alma that night. Not that that was different from most nights but tonight was special. Tonight he would lay there for hours and think about Jack and worry about him. He knew where Jack was all right. It was on the news every single night and everyone was talking about it. Vietnam was a dirty word now and it was spoken like a curse. He had heard all the horror stories and even met some who had come back from the war. There were a few in town. You could spot them a mile off. The wore their hair long and wore bandanas around their foreheads. They dressed in their Army fatigues and boots and always walked around looking madder than hell and ready to pounce if someone looked at them wrong or said the wrong thing. He saw them get kicked out of the bar on several occasions. He did his best to steer clear of them like most folks in town did. He couldn't imagine his Jack over in some foreign country, shooting at people and getting shot at. Jack … Jack

X~~X~~X 

Jack gladly swallowed the pills the nurse handed him then rested his head against the soft pillow. Would his head never stop hurting?

“Twist?” The young soldier called his name and Jack struggled to sit up. “Here.” Jack called out.

Two letters were dropped at the foot of his bed and Jack grabbed them. One was from his mother and the other was from Riverton, Wyoming. Ennis!

He tore the end off the envelope and pulled the single sheet of notebook paper out.

“Hey Jack, How do doing? I didn't expect to hear from you. I figured you was sore from that punch I give you last day. Sorry about that. How the hell did you manage to get yourself in the Army? Thought you could run raster than that. Yeah, I got married. Got me a baby girl now too. Sweetest thing on earth. 

Sure hope they give you some training with that gun a yours. If I remember correctly, you couldn't hit the side of a barn unless you was inside the barn and aiming at the door. It'd be best if they could just set you up to doing the cooking for them viet-congs. You could kill a lot more of 'em off with your cooking than a rifle.

You take care a yourself, Bud. Keep your head down.  
Ennis del Mar”

Jack read the letter again and again before he opened the letter from his Momma and read it. He tucked them both under his pillow so he could take them out later and read them again. One more day of rest, clean sheets and he'd be back with his squad. “Damn … damn. Wish I was back home.” He thought. “Even with the old man cursin me. At least I wouldn't be seein no butchered up buddies around me.” He shuddered at the thought and closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

X~~X~~X

“Hey Ennis,

Got your letter today. Thanks for writing me. It gets pretty lonely over here. Momma writes me once a week and that's the only mail I get. So you're a daddy now? Congratulations! I never wanted to be nobody's daddy. That ain't a position that I think very highly of. I'm sure you'll be good at it though. Doubt there's much a anything that you can't do. You still doing ranch work?  
I'm thinking that when I get out a here, if I do make it out a here, I might try my hand at ranching. I'd like to get me a little cow-calf place somewhere up there in Wyoming. Maybe you could go in on it with me? You said you was saving for a place. How's that coming along?   
I been thinking a lot about Brokeback lately. You know what? That was the best summer I ever had. Not that I'm all that fond a sheep but I liked the work. I think it would be a fine thing to have a place somewhere and be my own boss with no one yelling at me, or shooting at me neither! Think something like that might be a interest to you? Think on it.  
Sorry the paper got kind a messy. It got rained on some. God, I hate this place!

Write me again soon.

Jack”

 

X~~X~~X

“Jack,

Yeah, I'm still doing ranch work for now. Don't know how much longer I can though. Got me another baby on the way and bills are piling up. Might have to move into town and get me a town job that pays more. I'd hate to do that but right now I can't think of nothing but making a living and supporting my family. Sure thought things would be different when I got married. It ain't nothing like I thought it would be.  
A cow-calf place sure sounds great but places cost lots a money. I ain't been able to save nothing. What little I did have went to paying on doctor's bills and I still ain't got the first baby paid off yet. It'd be a long time before I could ever go in on a place, Jack. It sure would be nice though.  
I think about Brokeback a lot too. It was great up there in the mountains. All except for them stinking sheep and dumb-ass mules!  
You ever get leave so's you could come home to Wyoming? If you ever do, let me know. Maybe we could meet up and I'll buy you a beer – long as you promise not to play that harmonica. Hang in there, Jack. 

Ennis”

X~~X~~X

“Ennis,

You got another baby? I guess marriage must agree with you then the way you and Alma keep popping out them babies. I'm not planning on ever doing the dirty deed. I ain't cut out for marriage. Why should I settle for one when there are so many out there that want what I got? Maybe when I get old, 35 or 40 I might change my mind but right now I don't see that happening. I aim to get all I can get while I can. 

If this fucking war ever ends, I might just settle in some big city where there's lots of action. I'm thinking San Francicso maybe. Lots a stuff going on there where I might could find some work.  
A buddy a mine is from there and he says I should come work for his dad. He's got a Ford dealership there and my buddy thinks I'd make a great salesman. What do you think about that? You think I could sell cars? It wouldn't be all that far from Wyoming and I could still see the folks and maybe you and me could meet up and do some fishing or hunting. I'm a pretty good shot now. Not like my buddy. They call him the widow maker. He don't shoot all that often but when he shoots at something, it falls.

I'm fuck out a cigarettes again. They really need to do something about putting them in water-proof packages. This fucking rain gets into everything and a wet cigarette ain't worth shit. Guess I'll head on out and see if I can scrounge up some smokes.

Sure wish I was up in the mountains again setting up camp and the only thing I had to worry about was those damn coyotes. Sure do miss the mountains.

Write me,

Jack”

X~~X~~X

“Jack,

You got a stay over there till the war ends? It could go on a long, long time. Don't you get to come out after a year or two? How long you been over there? I thought they didn't take someone who was the only son in a family. Did you put that down in your paperwork?

To tell you the truth, Bud, marriage really sucks! I wish I never done it. But I got me two baby girls now and I ain't sorry about that. Can't really see how they can be so sweet and their momma such a sour-puss. She says she just can't handle the two of 'em by herself so I'm giving in and we're looking for us a place in town. It's gonna cost an arm and a leg but she promised that she'd get out and find a job and help with the bills. 

I don't know nothing about San Francisco except they got some big bridge there. That's a long way from Wyoming though. Couldn't you sell cars somewhere in Wyoming? Course, I know you and your Pa don't get on so maybe you might want to keep your distance from Wyoming. Can't say as I blame you after rememberin some of the stories you told me. My Pa didn't never beat us kids or momma. He was a drunk and a bully but he didn't never lay a hand on us kids. He knew Momma would throw him out on his ass if he did. 

Still raining over there? You want me to send you some smokes? Won't be no trouble.

Ennis”

X~~X~~X

“Ennis,

Nah, don't worry about sending any smokes. The kind you're talking about I can get loads of here. The kind I'm talking about, you gotta go into the village to get, or know someone who has a stash. 

Yeah, I put it down in all my paperwork that I'm an only son but I guess that don't matter no more cause they took me anyway. I think the paperwork says two years but I signed so much stuff and didn't read half of it. Could be here for the duration. No body here talks much about going home. It's kinda a bad luck thing. Most everyone feels like they'll never go home 'cept in a body bag. 

If your marriage sucks so much how come you stay with her and keep having babies? Sure, babies are cute but from what I hear, they cost lots a money with doctor bills and all. I still don't want none. They give us condoms whenever we get to go into town and I make damn sure I use 'em. Don't want no babies – period and I don't wanna catch nothing. No telling what some a these people got over here. With all the rain and then the miserable heat every time you get so much as a scratch it gets infected. People got all kinds a sores and stuff. No telling if it's something catchy or not. Scares the shit out a me.

Got to spend another couple a days in the hospital tent. Got my head busted open again. Seemed like just a small cut but it wouldn't stop bleeding so they put me out and doc dug around in there and found a piece of shrapnel bout the size of a nickle in there. He took it out, bandaged me up and made me stay in bed for a bit. Sure was nice sleepin clean and all but it hurt like hell. I hated to go back on the line but I ain't got no say in the matter. They say go and I have to go. 

Lost another buddy while I was in bed. Fuck! He was the nicest kind a guy too. Good poker player. Used to send all his winnings home to his girl. They were getting married when he got out. I hate this fucking place!

Jack”

X~~X~~X

“Jack,

You best be careful about that kind a smokes. You need to keep clear headed out there. 

Fore Alma and me got married, all she talked about was having babies. I figured it would make her happy but I sure was wrong about that. Don't think this marriage thing is what she expected neither. She did get herself a job at the grocery store though so that's helping some. I pay the rent, the electric bill and anything the girls need. Alma pays for the food and the phone bill since she insisted we get one and she's the only one who talks on it anyway. We're getting by and I'm able to pay a little on our medical bills each month so it ain't so bad.

 

I thought I told you to keep that head a yours down! You said you was in the hospital again. What was you in there before for? Another hit in the head? I guess as long as they keep hitting you there you'll be all right. I know you got a head on you like a cement block. I remember getting hit in the nose with it one time and bleeding all over the place. You just make sure you don't get nothing important shot off.

Sorry to hear about your buddy. Was that the one from San Francisco you was telling me about? That's sure tough.

Mr. Cole's been talking about retiring again. He ain't been well lately. He took real sick last winter and has been sickly ever since. His Mrs. is pushing him to sell the place and move to Arizona where their son lives. He always put her off but if he don't pick up pretty soon, he might just up and sell the place. Hell if I know what I'll do then. I'm trying to put aside a little each pay check in case that happens. I can't afford to be out a work with two kids to support.

Ennis”

X~~X~~X

“Ennis,

I'm thinking that I might could qualify for a G.I. Loan after I get out. How much you think a down payment on a place would be? I bet between the two a us we could make a go of a place. What do you think? My buddy, Randall, says I ought to work a couple years and save up before I try and make a go of it. He's the one wants me to work for his dad in San Francisco. He says that city is really a great place to live and there's big money to be made there if you know the right people. He says his dad's got all kinds a connections. Shit, Ennis. He says he gets a brand new car every year for his birthday! Can you beat that? Can't imagine making that kind a money.

Ranching ain't no kind a work for a sickly man. If Mr. Cole ain't getting any better, maybe retiring is what he needs. If he sells out, maybe you could get on with the new owners. I been saving most a my checks. It ain't a whole lot but you get in a bind, you let me know and I'll help you out till you get on your feet again. I know you'd do the same for me if I needed it.

You know, as much as I hate the Army, it's the first time since I left home at 15 that I've had three meals a day, a place to sleep, and medical care. I was real glad after I got drafted, right up until they set us down in this hell hole. I heard a couple guys talking about just taking off the other day. I don't blame 'em none but Jesus, that ain't something I could do. I mean as much as I hate it here, and I do hate it here, I couldn't never just run off and leave the rest of the guys to fight by themselves. They get caught they'll end up in prison for sure. One guy got the shakes so bad he shot himself in the foot. Some say he did it on purpose. Don't know if that's true or not but he's on his way home. Wish it was me going home. But I ain't stupid enough to shoot myself. 

Tomorrow I get to go into town for two days. I can hardly wait. These places aren't really like towns we got back home. They are more like little villages you see in the movies. They don't look real. They stink to high heaven too as do most of the people here. I guess I'm getting used to it cause it don't bother me much no more. It's just different. Wish I was home. God, I'm homesick. Never thought I'd say that about Lightning Flat but I'd give anything to be there right now even with the old man calling me names and cursing at me.

Jack”

X~~~X~~~X

“Jack,

Don't know about San Francisco. I ain't never heard nothing good about it. Heard a fella could get himself in a lot of trouble there. But I guess if you're the kind a guy who likes trouble you can pretty much find it wherever you go.

Don't know about working for any new owners. Could be he'll be bringing in his own ranch hands.  
Thanks for the offer of a loan but I think I can make it. I been watching the paper and there are a few town jobs I might could handle if push comes to shove. 

Whyn't you give those doctors a break and try and stay out of their hospital. I'll bet you're a real bitch of a patient! Ha ha

Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. Hope you don't go get any silly notions that might screw up the rest of your life. Hang in there, Jack. You can make it. I know you can.

Ennis”

X~~~X~~~X

“Ennis,

Can't take much more a this, Ennis. They got Izzy. Bunk next to mine. Blew him all to hell. He was gonna be a fucking school teacher now he's nothing but a smear on the jungle floor. I hate this goddam place. I hate it!”

(no signature)

X~~~X~~~X

Ennis re-read all his letters from Jack while Alma was over at her sisters. He tucked them safely in a box he kept on the top shelf in the back of the closet. It had been nearly four months since the last letter and he was worried. Each letter seemed like Jack had become more and more bitter, more and more scared. He thought about calling Lightening Flat to see if the Twist's had heard from him lately but he didn't want to worry or scare them. He sure hoped that Jack hadn't done anything stupid.

Alma was talking divorce again and he was at the point where he really didn't care any more. It would be a relief not to have to see her face and listen to his constant harping about money. He had slept a good may nights on the couch and found he liked it a lot better than having to sleep next to her. The girls were so little though. He hated the thought that they might forget him. As long as Mr. Cole kept the ranch going and he had a job, he'd be able to live there in Riverton and see them all the time. It wouldn't be so bad. Alma's sister was taking care of them full time now so he'd probably get to see them about as much as he did now. As long as Alma didn't get bitchy about visiting hours. He did worry about that.

Six months later the judge pronounced them divorced and said Ennis would have to pay $250 a month child support. “Shit! That's half my paychek!” Ennis thought as the judge banged the gavel and it was all over. The line shack he was living in cost him $50 a month so that left him $200 for electricity, food, gas and paying a little something on their outstanding medical bills. It was going to be tight but he'd find a way to make it.

He was loading the girls up into his truck to take them back to Alma when a blue pickup pulled into his driveway. He tried to get a look at who was driving and was stunned to see Jack Twist behind the wheel. It had been nearly a year since he'd heard from him and he'd often wondered and worried about him.

Jack climbed out of the truck, camo pants and jacket, combat boots, burr haircut, and with a cigarette dangling from his mouth. They stood and stared at one another for a moment before Ennis grinned and walked over to him. Jack tossed his cigarette as Ennis reached him and they embraced. They clung together for a time before Ennis pulled back and spoke.

“What're you doin here? You okay?” He asked after seeing Jack's gaunt appearance, dark circles under his eyes and a nervousness about him.

“Yeah. A … can we talk?” Jack lit another cigarette and glanced around the area.

“Yeah, sure thing. I got my girls in the truck. Gotta take 'em to Alma's. You'll wait for me? I'll be back in twenty minutes.”

“Uh huh. Got any beer? Whiskey? I need a drink.” Jack said as they walked towards the door.

“Help yourself. Beer in the fridge and whiskey in the cabinet over the sink.” Ennis unlocked the door for him and Jack brushed past him and went inside. “Make yourself at home. I'll be back shortly.”

Ennis got the girls home in record time and had to listen to Alma complaining about money again. He made it back to his place, got inside and found Jack sound asleep on his couch. He brought a blanket from the closet and covered Jack with it and sat down in the recliner and watched him sleep.

Jack slept on his side with his knees drawn up and one arm curled up over his head. Ennis could see a couple white marks in the dark hair line that looked like scars. He twitched in his sleep and made little noises. A truck drove by on the road outside and backfired. Jack jumped up in a flash and crouched down beside the couch with both hands covering his head.

“Jack … Bud. It's all right.” Ennis knelt in front of him. He wanted desperately to take him in his arms but was afraid to touch him.

Jack peeked out under his arms. “Ennis? That you?”  
“Yeah. It's me, Jack. C'mon. Let's sit on the couch and talk.”

Jack looked around the room like he'd never seen it before and stood. “I heard shootin.”

“Just a truck backfire, Jack. Ain't nobody shootin around here.” Ennis assured him.

“You sure about that?” Jack asked as he pulled back the curtain and peeked out the window.

“Positive. You did't have no beer?” Ennis noticed there weren't any empties sitting around and went into the kitchen and brought back two bottles. He handed one to Jack.

“I saw the couch. It looked good.” Jack took the beer and sat down on the couch. 

Ennis sat down as well but a distance from Jack. “It's old but it's comfortable. I nap here sometimes myself.” Ennis gave him a little smile.

Jack drank the beer and didn't stop until it was gone. He sat holding the bottle and staring at the label.

“We didn't get no beer where we were.”

“Jack, I gotta ask. Are you all right? You here legal and all?” Ennis asked as he sipped his beer.

Jack belched a couple times before he answered. “Yeah, I'm all right. Unless Pa called the cops on me.”

“Bud, … what'd you do? What happened?”

“I decked him. I knocked his fuckin ass clean off the porch and I left.”

“Shit, Jack. You can't be hittin your own Pa!”

“I'll kill the son of a bitch if I ever see another bruise on Momma's face!” Jack got up and started pacing. He lit a cigarette and stalked back and forth across the room angrily. 

“He hit your Momma? She say that?”

“Nope. She said she bumped it on a cabinet door. I could tell though. I could see it in his face, the way he was lookin at her. He done it. I know he done it and she was lyin to protect him. Like she always done. Well, it ain't happenin no more! I ain't no kid no more, Ennis. He touches her again, I'll fuckin put him in the ground!”

“Jack, you gotta calm down.” Ennis pleaded with him.

“I don't gotta do nothin! I swear to God, Ennis, I'll kill that fucker he touches her again!”

Ennis went into the kitchen and brought out another beer. He didn't know if the beer would help or hurt but he couldn't see how it could make Jack much worse off than he already was.

Jack took the bottle and this time drank half of it and stopped. He slouched back down on the couch.

“So, how long you been out?” Ennis asked. “Or are you on leave?”

“I'm out. Little over a week. Ten, eleven days or so. I thought it would be different. I thought this time when I went home … hell … I even thought he might be glad to see me. No such fuckin luck! He's the same old bastard he always was. Mean as hell and a mouth on him like a sewer. Well I'm not takin his shit no more. He'd better watch his step around me. That's all I got a say about it.”

“So you're gonna be livin with them now?”

“Jesus.” Jack leaned forward, elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. “I just needed a place to stay till I got to feelin better. My fuckin head feels like it's about to explode.”

Ennis got up and went into the bathroom and came out with some Extra Strength Tylenol. He shook a couple out into the palm of his hand and handed them to Jack. Jack grabbed them up and swallowed them down with the rest of his beer.

“You need to see a doctor?” Ennis asked as he sat back down beside him.

“Nah. Doctor said the head aches would go away in time. Said I just needed to get some rest.”

“You ain't gonna get any rest fightin with your Pa. You wanna stay here?”

Jack leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes. “You know, all this time, four years now since we last seen each other, I used to dream of meetin up with you again.” He opened his eyes then and rolled his head over to look at Ennis. “I dreamed about grabbin you and takin you off somewhere where we'd find us a place and settle in and the two of us would live happily ever after.”

Ennis gave him a little grin. “Nice dream.”

“Yeah. Didn't dream anythin about kids and Pa and these fuckin headaches.” Jack rubbed his temples.

“Big difference between what is and what we'd like it to be.” Ennis said.

“That's what I don't understand.” Jack said miserably as he sat up straight again. “Why can't we have things the way we want them? It's our lives! We ought to be able to live them the way we want to.”

“I agree, Jack. But sometimes things just don't work out the way we want them. Them times … you just gotta stand it.”

“Well I won't! I want what I want and I ain't givin up without a fight.”

“What is it you want?” Ennis asked.

“I want you and me on a place together somewhere. I want … Jesus, Ennis. I want you!”

The look on Ennis's face told Jack all he needed to know and he jumped on Ennis. They rolled backwards as they kissed and tumbled onto the floor but neither of them let go. This kiss was four years of heartbreak, disappointment, loneliness, amd terror in the waiting and they weren't about to let it end. They stopped long enough to take a quick breath and clung to one another again as if their very lives depended on it. Ennis pulled back when he tasted blood. He didn't know if it was his or Jack's but he pulled back and hauled Jack up to his feet. 

“Bedroom's that a way.” He pointed towards a door.

Jack grinned, reached for his hand and pulled Ennis in the direction he had pointed out. They were both naked by the time they made it to the bed and their union was as glorious as it had always been but with something more added. They were men now. No longer boys doing the naughty out in the woods but two grown men, knowing what they wanted and going after it with a passion neither of them was aware they had in them.

They dozed a little and Ennis was brought aware by the sounds Jack was making. It sounded to him like Jack was crying. He flicked the bed side lamp on and looked over at Jack.

“Jack, what is it?” He asked after seeing Jack put a quick arm up over his face.

“My fuckin head! It feels like it's comin off!” Jack couldn't hide the pain in his voice.

“Wait right here!” Ennis told him and got up and ran into the kitchen. He came back minutes later with a towel wrapped around a plastic bag full of ice and placed it on Jack's head. “Where's it hurt the most?” He asked and Jack reached up and adjusted it to the side of his head where the scars were.

“Thanks” He sniffled.

“Shit, Jack. You should be in a hospital.”

“No! I been in enough hospitals to last me a lifetime. I don't want no fuckin hospital with all their needles and pills. I wanna lay right here next to you – naked. That's all I need.” He reached for Ennis and Ennis lay down beside him with a protective arm across Jack's chest.

“How many times you get hit in the head anyway?” Ennis asked as he rubbed circles in the middle of Jack's chest to sooth him.

“Three times. Bullet just skimmed the side of my skull here above my left ear. Back here was where they took a piece of shrapnel out. And third time the grenade just blew me down a hill and I landed on some rocks and busted my head open.”

“Shit, Jack. They didn't teach you nothin about keepin your head down?” Ennis asked and placed a little kiss on Jack's bare shoulder.

Jack kind of laughed but it was more like a shudder and before he knew it he was blubbering like a baby. “I was so scared! So fuckin scared!”

Ennis sat up and took Jack in his arms and held him while he cried. He rubbed the back of Jack's neck and tried to hold the ice pack in place while Jack shook with sobs.

“I didn't think I was ever going to make it home. I didn't think I was ever going to see you again,” he wept. “I was gonna run away. I was. I just couldn't fuckin stand it no more. I couldn't!”

“It's all right. It's all right. What happened? Are they lookin for you? Do we need to take off somewhere?” Ennis asked as he held him close.

“No. No, I didn't run. I didn't have a chance. I was gonna see this guy about a boat ride back to the states but the grenade got me first and I was in the hospital. Then they was sayin somethin about the third concussion or somethin and next thing I knew they were puttin me on a plane and I was on my way home. They mustered me out in San Antonio, that's where I joined, and give me a ticket as far as Casper. I ain't on the run.”

“Everythin's all right then. You can just rest and relax here then until you get better.” Ennis cuddled him closer in his arms.

“Then what?” Jack pulled back and looked Ennis in the face. “What happens then? Will you go away with me? Can we find us a place together?”

“I don't know about that, Jack. We'll have to think on that.”

“I can't go back to the folks. I'll kill the old bastard for sure and end up in jail.” Jack said.

“No. You can't go back there. We'll figure out how you can go visit your Momma when the old man's off somewhere but you can't live there again.”

“Maybe I could get hired on at Cole's ranch with you?” Jack asked hopefully.

“Nah. It's comin on winter now and he lets most a the hands go. He only keeps a couple of us on durin the winter.” He pulled Jack back into his arms. “You stay here with me for the winter. Come spring we'll decide what we need to do.” Ennis held him close and hoped he sounded more sure of himself than he felt.

X~~~X~~~X 

The winter came on hard and fast that year. Mr. Cole let half his crew go, as usual, and just kept Ennis and three others on. He paid them full time even though there was only about three or four days a week work for them. He knew they all had families to support and didn't want to lose them.

Jack stayed inside mostly. They had stuck his truck inside the old barn where Ennis was stabling his horses and Jack seldom took it out. He slept a good deal of the time and paced the floor a lot. He seemed to be on hold until Ennis returned from work each evening and then he would come alive again. Slowly as the weeks passed, he began to relax some. He still had the nightmares, still jumped at any loud noise, but the pacing became less frantic, the head aches eased, and his desperate clinging to Ennis at night no longer left him bruised in the morning.

They often pulled the mattress off the bed and into the living room in front of the fireplace and slept there. Ennis even brought out his sleeping bag and covered them with it at night. It seemed to give Jack a bit of reassurance.

Ennis bought groceries with the money Jack had given him and stocked up good on beer and cigarettes as well as food. He sat one morning reading the ads from the Sunday papers when he found something that interested him. He read it again. “Wanted. Someone to take over small family ranch. No down payment. First payment not required for 18 months.”

He folded the paper back and looked at Jack who was busy doing his usual exercises in the middle of the living room floor. He read the ad for a third time. “Small family ranch” “No down payment” and “First payment not required for 18 months”. 

He put the paper down and went into the kitchen and put a pot of coffee on. The time had come for them to have a serious talk. He knew it was coming as it was February now and the snow had all but stopped. Decision time was here.

He leaned against the sink and waited for the coffee to be ready. He could hear Jack counting out his sets as he went through his routine. This was it. Could he do it? Could he actually go out and get a place and live openly with Jack? The thought terrified him as images from the past flickered through his mind and his father telling him and K.E. “That's what happens to perverts!” Was he a pervert? Was that what he was just because he loved Jack? Somehow he couldn't put the two together. 

A pervert was someone who hurt people. He wondered if old Earl had ever hurt anyone. He had never heard his father say that he had. He had always just referred to Earl and Rich as 'their kind'. He never knew what that meant. He knew now though, and he didn't agree with it. He agreed that hurting people was wrong but he couldn't see how killing them was much different. It just never made any sense to him.

He wondered if people would come after him and Jack if they lived together. Hell, they'd been living together for four months now and nobody has said anything. He remembered something that Jack had said to him years ago up on Brokeback. “It's nobody's business but ours.” Now that made sense. Whatever he did in his own home wasn't anybody's business. He wasn't hurting anyone. He wasn't bothering anyone. How would living on a ranch together be any different than living in this little cabin together?

“That coffee ready yet?” Jack's voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Yep. You wanna have it in here? We need to do some talkin.” Ennis said as he pulled down two cups from the shelf and filled them.

“Sure thing.” Jack took a seat at the table and Ennis joined him. “I wear out my welcome here?” Jack asked looking a little worried.

Ennis grinned as he handed Jack a cup of steaming coffee. “No way you could ever do that, Bud. That's what I wanted to talk about.”

Jack sipped his coffee and looked relieved.

“When you was writin me them letters, you mentioned the two a us gettin a place together. You havn't said nothin about it since you got back. You still interested or you got other things on your mind?” Ennis asked.

“I'd love for us to have a place, Cowboy, but we ain't got no down payment. I spent what little money I had saved up when I left the Army on buyin that truck. I ain't got but a couple hundred left.”

“What if we could get us a place without no down payment? Would you be interested?” Ennis asked.

Jack looked up at him. “Well sure I would but places like that just don't drop in your lap.”

“There's one advertised in today's paper. Small family ranch, no down payment, first payment not due for eighteen months.” Ennis sipped his coffee and watched as the words sank in.

“You shittin me? Where is this place? Africa? Australian outback?”

“Nope. It says it's twenty five miles northeast a Buffalo. I figured I could maybe find a job close by – maybe Buffalo. At least until we got the place makin some money. That way I could make my child support payments and put away enough for the note payment. What do you think?”

“Where is this ad? I wanna see it.” Jack reached for the paper. 

“It's there where I folded it.” Ennis pointed the ad out.

“Bet somebody got it already.” Jack said after reading the ad. 

“I got the next three days off.” Ennis grinned at him. “You wanna take a drive up there and we take a look at the place?”

“You fuckin serious? You gonna do this?” Jack asked with eyes wide.

“We take off now we can be there by mid afternoon, take a look at the place and see if we're interested. What do you think?” Ennis grinned. “We can talk about stuff while we're drivin.”

“We'd better go in my truck.” Jack said and jumped up, eager to be on the road before Ennis changed his mind. “I been startin it every couple a days so the battery don't go dead on me. It could use a good drive.”

Ennis poured the rest of the coffee into a thermos, grabbed a loaf of bread and jar of peanut butter and they took off.

“You know, the place could be gone by the time we get there.” Jack warned as they drove.

“If that's so then we'll have had a nice Sunday drive.” Ennis lit a cigarette and handed it to him then lit another for himself.

“We couldn't be this lucky. The ground's probably bad. Or maybe the house burned down.” Jack began listing all the things that might be wrong with the place. “There's got to be some catch. Why would someone want to get rid of a place and not ask anything down?”

“I don't know. Maybe the got a divorce or maybe somebody died. Could be anything. I just figured it was worth lookin into.”

“You figued right. I just hope we don't make this long drive up there for nothin.” Jack said.

“A nice ride out in the country side won't hurt us none.” Ennis said and they rode a while in silence.

“If by some miracle we get this place, how you wanna play it? You want people to know we're livin together? You wanna tell 'em we're related or somethin?” Ennis broke the silence.

“Nah. I'd rather go with the truth. Can't we just say that we're goin in on this as partners and let it go at that? Just let people think whatever the hell they want?” Jack said.

“I 'spose we could.” Ennis answered. “You do know what could happen … to people like us … if we get caught, I mean.”

“I heard about it. I don't give a shit what people think a me, Ennis. Do you?” Jack said.

“No, not really. As long as they keep their opinions to themselves and leave us alone.”

“Hell, Ennis. They try and start somethin with us, I'm more than capable a finishin it. Let 'em try.”  
Jack stubbed his cigarette out angrily in the ash tray. “I ain't afraid of 'em.”

“I ain't afraid of 'em neither on a one on one basis but a bunch of 'em get together and we got us a lot a trouble.” Ennis said.

“Ennis, that neighbor a yours you told me about, he was an old man. You said so yourself. And that other guy they killed was just a kid. We're old enough to be wary of bad situations and young and strong enough to take care of them should they come up.”

“I guess we could take some precautions. Get us some guard dogs maybe.” Ennis said.

“That's a good idea, Cowboy. I always wanted a dog. Pa always said they was more trouble than they were worth. Said we weren't sheep herders so we didn't need 'em.”

“Well I think we should have a couple, maybe even three or four of 'em. They'd sound off for sure if anyone come on our property that didn't belong there.” Ennis was becoming a little more comfortable with the whole idea. If Jack didn't mind taking precautions, then they might have a pretty good chance of making a go of it.

“Looks like the turn off up ahead.” Jack said as he slowed down and pulled the truck off the highway and onto the small two-lane road. “Beautiful country up here. Not but a hop, skip and a jump from the Big Horns. We could hunt and fish whenever the season opens.”

“Yeah, I was thinkin about that. We get us a vegetable garden goin and maybe some fruit trees. Then with the huntin and fishin we wouldn't never have to worry none about food.” Ennis agreed.

“This all just sounds too fuckin good to be true, Cowboy. You and me together on a place of our own? I just hope this ain't all another dream and I wake up in some hospital all busted up again.”

“You ain't in no hospital, Jack.” Ennis grinned at him and reached over and pinched him in the ribs.

“Ouch!” Jack said and grabbed his side.

“See? You ain't dreamin. I guess we should really be thinkin about what we're gonna do if we don't get this place. I mean, it could be gone, or just some shitty hole that we wouldn't want anyway.”

“Nah. I got a feelin about this. We're gonna get it.” Jack grinned.

“We sure could use a break here – both a us.” Ennis agreed.

“I sure hope it looks somethin like this place,” Jack said as he pointed out a neat pasture with a small heard grazing on the new grass pushing it's way up through the few patches of snow still on the ground.

“Shit!” Ennis pointed to a mailbox at the end of a long driveway. “This is the place!” He couldn't believe how beautiful it was. The land was well fenced and he strained to get a better look at the herd as Jack drove on up to the house. 

“Fuck!” Jack said.

“What?” Ennis asked. He couldn't imagine what Jack was upset about as everything looked just perfect to him as they parked and got out.

“You see any For Sale signs? I betcha someone beat us here.” He coughed and spit. “Just my fuckin luck! I find the perfect place and it's gone!”

“We don't know that for sure.” Ennis said but did a frantic look around for any signs. “Let's go on in and ask anyway.”

“It's already gone, Ennis. Some fucker got here before us. We shoulda called or somethin.” Jack wanted to get back into the truck but Ennis urged him on towards the door.

By the time they were going up the porch steps, a small fragile looking old lady came out the front door and greeted them.

“Afternoon, gentlemen. Are you interested in my place?” She gave them a sweet smile.

“It ain't gone yet? We didn't see no signs. We thought maybe we was too late and somebody already got the place.” Ennis removed his hat and returned her smile.

“No, no. Nobody's been by at all. I did get a couple a calls but one said it was too small and the other was from out a state and said they might come by in a few weeks or so.” She said as she took a seat in a rocker and motioned for them to sit in the other rockers as well.

Ennis sat in the one nearest her and Jack took a seat on the steps. “You mind me askin why you want a sell the place?” Ennis asked.

“My husband passed away recently and neither of my children ever had any interest in ranchin. I'm gettin too old to be way out here by myself. My daughter has been after me to come live with her down in Cheyenne and I guess it's about time with Maurice gone now.”

“Sorry to hear that, Ma'am.”

“Oh my goodness! Where are my manners.” She smiled at them. “My name is Claire Lawrence.” She reached out a small hand to Ennis.

“Ennis del Mar.” Ennis said taking her hand gently. “This here is Jack Twist.”

“How do you do? I'm so pleased to meet you.” She smiled at both of them. “Do you come from ranch people?”

“Yes, Ma'am. Both a us do. Jack, here, he's from Lightning Flat and I'm from Sage.” Ennis said.

“I've been to Lightnin Flat before. Beautiful country over there. Not as pretty as here cause we got the mountains so near and I do love my mountains. I never been to Sage though.” She said.

“So, you really sellin this place with nothin down and no payments for 18 months?” Ennis asked.

“Yes. I have no use for the place any more. Not with Maurice gone. I do love my little house but Darlene – that's my daughter – has a really nice place down in Cheyenne with lots a room and I'll be able to garden and of course spend more time with the grand children. Would the two of you like to take a drive around the place?”

“Yes Ma'am.” They both said as they all stood.

“You go ahead then. Look the place over good. I'll put a pot of coffee on and we can talk business once you've had a good look.”

They took about forty-five minutes driving over the place. They stopped several times to get out and check the soil, the well head, the pump house, generator shed, barn and especially the herd. Ennis paid particular attention to the bulls and was happy to see that the three of them weren't all that old and had plenty of good years left in them.

They were both excited and happy when they climbed the porch and gave a short knock on the door. Claire called for them to come on in and the three of them sat down at her kitchen table where she had set out coffee cups and a plate of home made cookies.

“I'm sure you boys know your business but I must tell you in advance that this place will only handle a small herd and that prices for beef ain't what it used to be.” She said as she poured their coffee cups full.

“We ain't lookin to make no killin here, Ma'am; just a livin.” Ennis assured her.

“There are advantages to havin a small place.” She said as she sat down with them. “The two of you should be able to handle it easily by yourselves. Them bigger spreads, you gotta hire a bunch a ranch hands to help out and way out here, there ain't all that easy to come by. Most a the time, they get laid off in the winter and move on and then come spring you gotta round up an other bunch.”

“That's what we were thinkin. We wanted a small place. Somethin we could handle ourselves.”

“You look like a ranch hand. I'm sure you can handle the work.” She nodded to Ennis. “But you don't. You look like a soldier.” She pointed her coffee cup at Jack.

“Yes, Ma'am.” Jack nodded his head. “I just got back a couple months ago. But I know ranchin. I done it all my life.”

“I see scars on your head. You sure you're strong enough to do this kind a work? It ain't no cushy job.”

“I'm fine. I did get a couple a head injuries but it wasn't nothin serious. I get head aches some but they're gettin better. I know I can do the work.” Jack assured her.

“Ain't neither a us into cushy jobs, Ma'am. We know the work and we ain't afraid of it.” Ennis cut in.

“Well then, the place is yours if you want it. Course, you'll have to go into town to the bank and talk to them about financin it. You're probably eligible for a GI loan, you should try that. I hear they are a lot easier to come by than the traditional loans.”

“I heard about GI loans but don't know nothin about them.” Jack said.

“Oh don't worry none about it. Joey Masterson – he's the loan man at the bank – he knows all that stuff. He can take one look at you and tell you're a vet. He'll get you set up.” Then back to Ennis she said, “So I take it you liked the place?”

“Definitely.” Ennis said. “The grounds good, the fencin is good, and the herd looks good. Didn't see nothin I didn't like.”

“Well that settles it then. The bank is already closed for the day so you'll have to wait until morning to see about a loan. When you see Joey, tell him I sent you. Have him call me if he has any questions about terms or anything.” She walked them to the front door. They said their good-byes and headed into town.

“Son of a fuckin bitch!” Jack said as they were back up on the highway again. “I think we just got ourselves a place!”

“Don't think we should be celebratin just yet. We gotta see the terms of this loan first. See if we can pass muster.” Ennis said but he couldn't keep the grin off his face.

“Oh we'll pass, all right. This is my dream, Ennis! I always knew it was gonna come true one day if I could just make it home from Nam. Didn't never expect it to be this perfect though.”

In no time they were driving around Buffalo and found a small motel where they checked in for the night. “Let's get a newspaper and see if there are any jobs listed.” Ennis said as they drove through a fast food place for dinner.

Back at the motel they finished their meal and started looking through the want-ads. “Well, it don't look like there's a whole lot here.” Jack said as he leaned back on the bed and lit a cigarette. “If we don't find nothin, we can always try Sheridan. It ain't all that far.”

“True. I got a find a job that pays enough for my $250 child support plus some extra to live on and put away for the note payment.”

“Yeah, I know. But I'll be bringin in some money too. You ain't in this alone, you know.” Jack smiled and reached for him. The newspaper was tossed out of the way and all thoughts about anything but each other fled.

X~~X~~X

The loan manager at the bank greeted them the next morning and they went into his office. “So the two of you are interested in the Lawrence place?” He asked after introductions were finished and they were all seated.

“That's right. Mrs. Lawrence says we can get it with no down payment and not have to make any payments for 18 months. Is that right?” Ennis asked still not quite sure that such a thing was possible.

“Don't see why not.” Masterson said as he thumbed through the file on his desk. “Course the two a you gotta qualify for the loan first. You got jobs around here?”

“No sir.” Ennis said, “But we're lookin. I'm sure we'll find somethin.”

“Mrs. Lawrence said I was to ask you about a GI loan.” Jack said.

“She said you were a vet. Sure thing. I'll need to see your discharge papers, get your serial number and all.”

“Not a problem.” Jack said and pulled his papers out of his wallet and unfolded them. He pointed to his serial number on the papers.

“And you got ID sayin you're Jack Twist?”

“Right here.” Jack pulled out his drivers license and handed it to him. 

“Then I guess you'd be a co-signer on the loan?” He asked Ennis.

“However you want to set it up. We're goin in on this as partners – fifty-fifty.” Ennis said.

“Okay. Sounds good. You two get on out a here and find yourselves some work; don't matter what it is as long as you're employed. You gotta be employed to get a loan – even a GI loan. I'll get to work on the legal stuff. You got a place where I can call you or you want to check back in a couple a days?”

“We can hang around here another couple a days but I gotta be back at work.” Ennis said.

“You already workin? That's good. Where at?” Masterson asked.

“Ranch east a Riverton.”

“That's not too far. What is it … about a 3 or 4 hour drive?”

“Uh huh.” Ennis nodded.

“Too far to comute though. You need to find work up here. I'm sure you can find something. If you don't, come see me. I'm sure I can find somethin for you to do around my place.” He shook hands with both of them. “You come see me before you head on back to Riverton and I'll let you know how the loan's comin.” 

“What do you think?” Jack asked as they climbed into his pickup.

“Looks pretty good to me.” Ennis said. “Long as we can come up with some jobs.”

“What do you think he was talkin about sayin if we couldn't find nothin to come see him? You think he was offerin us a job at the bank?” Jack asked.

“Nah. He's probably got himself a spread somewhere around here, or knows someone who needs some work done. It probably wouldn't be nothin permanent but it might be enough to tide us over till we can find permanent jobs.”

“Permanent? You think we're always gonna have to work city jobs as well as the ranch?” Jack asked.

“Nah. First coupla years, maybe. Just long enough to get the place up and runnin good.”

 

The very next day Jack found work at the Western Auto store. It didn't pay a whole lot but it would be enough to cover the cost of the motel and pay expenses while they waited for the loan to go through. Ennis hated heading back to Riverton without Jack and doing it in Jack's truck, but Jack was close enough to work to walk and Ennis needed to get back to work. He was still on the four-days-on and three-days-off schedule so he told Jack he'd be backin four days and headed out.

When he got back, four days later, about noon, he found Jack asleep in bed. He roused him awake when he came in and they had a sweet nooner before Ennis started prowling through the groceries sitting around looking for lunch.

“So what're you doin sleepin? You got the day off?” Ennis asked as he munched on some chips.

“Got fired.” Jack said, as he lit a cigarette.

“You got fired? Hell, Jack! What'd you do?” Ennis stopped eating and came back over to the bed and sat down beside Jack.

“I lost my temper and decked this guy.”

“Jack! You can't be doin stuff like that! What happened?”

“Ah.. the little fucker was slackin off in the back. The two a us had words and I decked him. How the hell was I supposed to know he was the owner's son?”

“Shit, Jack. You can't be actin that a way. We're lookin to set up near here and we gotta earn people's respect. You ain't gonna do that with you losin your temper. You gotta rein that in.”

“I know. I know.” Jack got up and started pacing the small area. “You mad at me now?”

“No, Jack. I ain't mad at you.” Ennis got up, went over to him and took him in his arms. “You gotta get a handle on this now though. Buffalo is a small town and things get around. You want people thinkin you're a hot head?”

“No, a course not! I just couldn't stand that little ass hole with his shit-eatin grin so I give it to him. I give it to him good and knocked him out cold! Serves him right.” Jack defended himself.

“Jack, it don't matter none if he deserved it or not. You can't be goin around knockin people out.”

“I know. You're right. I just got no patience right now. I still ain't heard nothin from Masterson and I'm getting worried. I want that place so bad! If we don't get that loan, we lose it!”

“There are other loans available besides a GI loan. If we both get good jobs we ought to be able to swing it. Maybe we won't get a full year and a half before payments have to start but with us both workin, we could probably still handle it. What we gotta concentrate on now is gettin us jobs and keepin 'em and stayin out a trouble! Did the cops get involved in this little fracas?”

“Nah. He come too in a couple a minutes, cryin like a baby and called his dad. He come huffin and puffin over to the store and fired my ass on the spot. No cops never showed up.”

“Well you're lucky. You coulda hurt him bad, Bud, and then where would we be? You'd be in jail somewhere and I'd be stuck back in Riverton.”

“Fuck! I didn't even think a that.” Jack hung his head in shame.

“Well it's over and done with for now. Let's hope that's the end of it.”

“Let's get outta here and go see if we can find us some cigarettes. You know, the special kind. I fuckin need a little somethin to relax.” Jack grinned as he pulled his clothes back on.

“Jack, you gotta cut that stuff out. You can't be doin that and ranch work at the same time. It's too dangerous.”

“The hell it is! What the fuck? You're turnin into a prig or somethin?” Jack challenged him.

“I ain't no prig! You know that! And another thing – all the sudden like you got a mouth on you like a sewer. You talk like that around your new boss you won't never hold down a job.”

“FUCK!” Jack kicked over a chair and sat down on the side of the bed.

Ennis righted the chair and sat down beside Jack. “I'll make a deal with you, Bud.” He reached over and took Jack's hand. “You need some relaxin, you let me know. I can relax you better than any cigarette can.” He kissed the back of Jack's hand hand shoved it down into his own lap.

Jack looked up at him with a grin. “Geeze, I'm sorry, Cowboy. I got myself some bad habits these last couple a years. I got no call to be usin foul language. It was just the way eveyone talked over there. Nobody give a shit. I mean, everybody talked that way. And the cigarette thing? I can do without. I got you now – I don't need nothin else.”

“I don't mean to be burnin your ass, Jack, but we gotta think a these things if we want to find work and live around here. We don't wanna start out makin no enemies. Enemies are like fleas. You get one and then all the sudden there are hundreds a them.”

“You're right, Cowboy. You're right. You want me to go find this guy and apologize?”

“Up to you. I ain't tryin to tell you what to do. I'm just tryin to warn you that if we're gonna live around here, we can't be makin no enemies.”

“I fucked up good! Shit! I mean … I'll fix it. I got everythin in the world I ever wanted now. I got no call to be actin like this. I'll rein it in. I promise.” Jack rested his head against Ennis's shoulder.

Ennis rested his cheek against the side of Jack's head and held him close. They were startled out of their intimate moment when the phone rang. Jack grabbed for it.

“Yes? … Sure! We can be right over.” Jack hung up the phone and was grinning from ear to ear. “That was Masterson. He says to come over to his office he has some good news for us.”

Ennis gave that slow grin that starts out with just the up-turn at the corner of his mouth and gradually reaches the rest of his lips; they part and his eyes light up. “Yaaaahoooo!” He let out a yell.

“You really think we got it? I mean, I don't have a job any more and neither do you – at least not around here.”

“He said it was good news?” Ennis asked as he held onto Jack.

“That's what he said.” 

“What're we waitin for? Let's go see!” 

They grabbed their hats and jackets and headed out the door. Five minutes later they were pulling into the bank parking lot and dashed inside. Masterson met them with a smile and a handshake and ushered them back to his office.

“You said good news?” Ennis asked as they sat down.

“Yes indeed. The loan is yours, under the terms we discussed, no down payment and no payment for eighteen months with just one proviso.”

“What's that mean?” Ennis asked.

“One condition. You must both be employed, here locally, by the time the papers get here from Cheyenne. That gives you about another week or ten days. It don't matter what kind a work – you can be flippin burgers over at the Dairy Queen – but you gotta be employed.” Masterson smiled at them. “I had to fudge a little and put down on the papers that you were both employed. You gotta get out now and make an honest man a me.”

The two of them made a bee-line for their truck laughing and pounding each other on the back.

“I'm starvin. Let's get somethin to eat!” Ennis said as they climbed into the truck. 

“I don't have the cash, Cowboy. We got stuff back at the motel.” Jack said.

“I got money. I got paid the other day. C'mon. We'll be scrimpin and savin from now on. Let's celebrate and get us a burger.”

“Okay by me!” Jack grinned and headed towards the local burger drive in.

“I'm gonna get the works! A double cheeseburger, fries, onion rings and a shake!” Ennis said and as if on cue, his stomach growled.

“Yeeeeeee Haaaawwww!!!” Jack howled as they drove on down the road.

They went through the drive through, got their food and headed back to the motel. They devoured their meal and once again scanned the want ads.

“Shit! Not a fuckin thing here that I qualify for!” Jack tossed the paper in disgust. 

Ennis picked it up and folded it back to where he was looking. “There's some stuff here, Jack. What about this one over at the Feed and Seed? You could handle that.”

“I already went there. Guess who was sitting in his office when I went in?”

“Who?”

“My old boss from Western Auto. Turns out they're brothers or cousins or somethin. I didn't stick around long enough to get the details straight.”

“Whew! Unfortunately we're gonna run into that in a town this size.” Ennis said.

“I was thinkin maybe I ought to try Sheridan. I'm pretty much fucked up here in Buffalo.”

“Yeah, well, could be. I do like the sound of that job though. Maybe I'll go see if it's still available.”

“Sure! Good idea. They don't know you.” Jack agreed.

“How about I run over there right now. If I get the job, the two of us can drive back to Riverton, grab my truck and my stuff and get back here.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Jack agreed.

Ennis took the time to clean up a bit – brushed his teeth and changed his shirt – then headed over to the Feed and Seed. In a little over an hour he was back and came inside to find Jack huddled on the floor between the two beds.

“Jack? You okay?” He knelt down beside him. “You fall down or somethin?”

“Huh? Ennis? Oh … eh … I guess I musta been dreamin.”

“Get up from there.” Ennis said and pulled Jack to his feet.

“I just laid down for a minute … I didn't think I was gonna sleep.” Jack rubbed the side of his head.

“You hurtin? Head botherin you again?” Ennis asked.

“Yeah, some. I took a coupla pills.” Jack sat on the side of the bed. “So – how did the interview go?”

“Great; I got the job. Jack, I think you need to see a doctor. I'm sure we could set up a payment plan or somethin. They let me do that in Riverton for my girls.”

“I don't need no doctor! You got that job? That's great! You wanna leave for Riverton now?”

“Nah, tonight we can relax. We can leave in the morning. They don't need me over to the Feed and Seed until end of the week. We got plenty a time.”

“How's the pay?”

“Twice what I was makin out at the ranch.”

“And it looks like somethin you can handle?”

“Uh huh. I'll be helpin out in the back mostly. They got themselves a hatchery back there. I'd be helpin with that plus the un-loading a the trucks that come in. He wants to train me with the cash register too in case they ever need me up front. I ain't too keen on that part but I couldn't turn it down.”

“You'll do good.”

“Jack … I really think you should see a doctor.”

“No! Damn it!” Jack stood and started pacing. “First thing they wanna do is start runnin all these tests and that'll cost thousands a dollars. We'd be startin out in the hole!”

“But Jack ...”

“NO! I seen enough doctors. They all said the same thing. The head aches will go away eventually. I just gotta wait 'em out.”

“Okay, Bud, okay. You still takin the Tylenol?”

“Yeah. I do when I feel one comin on.”

“They help any?”

“Some. The bad ones are at night or when I'm sleepin. I ain't aware one's comin on and all the sudden it's so bad … I can't hardly breathe.”

“Were they that bad before?”

“Yeah, worse actually. I don't get 'em as often now as I did before.”

“They are getting better then?” Ennis asked as he rubbed the back of Jack's neck.

“Yeah. Before I'd wake up screaming. Now I just wake up ...”

“Wake up how?” Ennis encouraged.

“Like just now – kinda confused.”

“You dreamin about Nam?”

Jack went rigid. “I always dream about Nam. Always. Whenever I sleep – whenever I dream. It's always Nam.” He sat with his hands clenched together and rocked back and forth.

Ennis didn't know what to do. “Is that why you get up and walk around durin the night?”

“Yeah. I don't sleep too good. Sorry if I been wakin you.”

“You don't need to be sorry, Bud. I shoulda asked you about it sooner. I just figured you had things on your mind you were thinkin about.”

“No. It's just … the dreams. Every time I close my eyes, I'm back there in that fuckin jungle!”

“You shoulda told me. I figured you was just restless or somethin.” 

“I can't … get rid of it. I thought once I got myself back to Wyomin that things would be different.”

“That why you went out and got them cigarettes?”

Jack hung his head then jumped up and started pacing again. “You don't know what it's like! I need it! I can't relax with out it. I can't … It ain't like it's addictive or nothin. I can do without it … I … I just need it now and then. I been smokin it now for nearly three years. I can't just … fuckin stop. Not now when I need it more than ever!”

Neither of them said anything for a while then Jack asked. “How'd you know?”

“I smelled it the minute I come in.”

“You want me to toss it?”

“I want you well.”

“It helps me, Ennis. I swear!”

“I'm sure it does. That ain't the point, Bud. You gotta get where you can handle things without it.”

“Why? I need it. I like it. It helps. Why should I give it up?”

“If you don't know the answer to that; you been hit in the head one time too many.”

“What the fuck do you care anyway? Huh? You got it made! You got a job, you don't have these fuckin head aches and you can sleep through just about anything.” Jack turned away sick with shame. Ennis didn't deserve that and they both knew it.

Ennis sat quietly at the table and said nothing. Jack finally turned back around. “You ain't gonna say nothin?”

“I love you.”

Jack just stared at him. “What? You love me? If you loved me; you'd let me have what I need!”

“I thought what you needed was me?”

“I do! You know that!”

“So you need me and you need the weed and you need a job and you need some sleep. What else do you need, Jack? And where do I fit on that list a things you need, huh? At the top, the bottom, or somewhere in the middle?”

“I can't make you … understand what it's like … what I been through.”

“I understand that you been through hell. I understand you were scared and hurt and I can see why you'd need a little somethin to help you through. But you're home now, Jack. You're safe. Nobody's shootin at you. We're together. We're gettin us a place a our own. You said yourself that the head aches aren't as bad as they were. So that means you're gettin better. Everythin's better for us than it's ever been. All you gotta do is get yourself out and find some kind a work and we get the loan. You ain't gonna be able to find a job and keep it if all you can think about is smokin that stuff.”

“How am I supposed to get out and get a fuckin job when you're off in my fuckin truck?” Jack railed at him.

“You'll have your fuckin truck back tomorrow after we go to fuckin Riverton and pick up my fuckin truck. Maybe then you'll be able to get up off your fuckin ass and find a fuckin job!” 

Jack stared at him. 

“It don't sound too pretty; does it. It's all I hear out a you since you been back. Everythin is fuckin this or fuckin that. I thought fuckin was somethin the two a us used to do and it was somethin we both loved. Now all a sudden it's a curse word.” 

Once again Jack turned away. He couldn't face him. The truth cut too deeply. They were quiet for a few minutes.

“You think I'm some kind a druggie?”

“I think you're in pain. I wanna help but I don't know how. I think you should see a doctor.”

“NO!”

“You could tell him what you told me. That you're gettin better but you still get the terrible headaches and you can't sleep for the nightmares. Maybe he won't need to do any tests. Maybe he can get your medical records from the Army. Maybe all you'll need is a prescription or somethin.”

“I don't want everyone in town knowin my business – about the headaches and nightmares.”

“Jack, I'll make a deal with you. Tomorrow when we get back from Riverton, we make some calls. We'll find you a doctor in Sheridan. Nobody knows us there. You go see him and you gotta tell him everythin. Tell him what you been through and all about your injuries and that you been usin the weed and it helps some. See what he has to say. I'm bettin he'll give you somethin to help you sleep; maybe keep the nightmares away. I want you to try it Jack. And if it don't help none, then you can go back to your weed and I won't say nothin about it. Can you do that? Will you do that? For me?” Ennis walked over to him and placed a hand on Jack's shoulder. “Please?”

Jack spun around and grabbed on to Ennis. “I'm so sorry! I know I let you down.”

“You didn't let me down, Bud.” Ennis held him close and caressed his shoulders.

“Yes I did! I could a been out lookin for work while you was gone. I got fired my first day on that fuck... I mean, on the first day of that job. It was my fault. I lost my temper. I just went to a bar for a drink and next thing I knew I was standin in the alley and buyin some smokes. I used up the last a my cash to buy em. I came back here and been pretty much out a it since.”

“We'll get you better, Jack. I promise you! We'll find a doctor who will help and I'll go with you. From now on, when you get a nightmare I want you to wake me up. We can talk about it or just sit   
and hold each other. Whatever it takes to help you relax.”

“I can't be wakin you up every time I wake up. That's be three or four times a night. You need your sleep.”

“When Jenny, my littlest girl, was first born, she cried all the time – day and night. Alma said she had to deal with it all day so it was up to me to deal with it at night. I got next to no sleep for about the first six months.”

“You sayin I'm actin like a baby?” Jack was becoming defensive again.

“No, Bud. I'm sayin I can get by on very little sleep. I'm sayin that we can make it through this if you let me help you. You was in serious trouble and you was hurtin bad when you was over there in Nam. I couldn't do nothin to help you then. You're home now and I'm right here livin with you. I can help you now if you'll just let me.”

The tears came then and they clung to one another for dear life. Ennis finally eased them over to the bed and they managed to doze off. They woke up and talked and and snacked and made plans several times during the night. There were no nightmares and no violent headaches and morning found them both rested and eager to get on the way to Riverton. 

 

Riverton was a bunch of running around. First thing was a drive out to the ranch where Ennis quit his job, then it was to the bank to close out his account and out to his line cabin to pack his things. They hooked Ennis's truck up behind Jack's and headed out after making a stop at Alma's sister's house for a quick visit with the girls. He told her that he was moving up to Buffalo and would get her an address where she could get in touch with him if the girls needed anything. When she asked if he had any message for Alma he said, “Yeah. Tell her goodbye!” She grinned and gave him a hug and promised she'd continue to take good care of the girls. 

The trip back to Buffalo was filled with happy chatter about their new place, and Ennis's new job and all the endless possibilities ahead of them. They got back to the motel late afternoon. They fixed a light dinner and went to bed early. Not one head ache all day and just one minor night mare. Jack was pumping his legs up and down and thrashing around. Ennis came awake and heard Jack, “Run! Run!” he was saying in a wild flurry of arms and legs and blankets. 

Ennis woke him and calmed him down. He tried to get Jack to talk about the dream but all Jack could remember of it was that they were running. He couldn't tie it to any particular event or any particular person. After a while they went back to sleep and slept the rest of the night through.

The next morning Jack wanted to get out and look for work and Ennis wanted to make phone calls and find a doctor. Jack insisted he didn't really need one as he had slept well the last two nights and was feeling great. 

“C'mon now.” Ennis argued. “We had a bargain.”

“We also agreed that the most important thing for me was to get a job. I can't do that if I'm sitting around here all day on the phone.”

“All right. You go on. See what you can find. I'll make the calls. But when I find someone and set up an appointment, you promise you'll go see him?”

“Sure. I said I would and I will. Unless I'm workin, a course. It wouldn't be right to take off right after I get hired on somewhere.” He grinned his most persuasive grin as he grabbed his hat and left.

Ennis got out a pencil and paper and started making some calls. Jack didn't come back until lunch time and they talked over peanut butter sandwiches. He had no luck so far but was going out again after he ate. Ennis said he had talked to a few doctors offices and two were supposed to call back after lunch.

Jack came in a little before three o'clock, tired and discouraged. Ennis had just gotten off the phone and was writing down the directions to the doctor's office. He had found one he liked and was willing to take payments on whatever services were needed. 

Ennis was telling Jack about the appointment he had set up for him and that they would need to see if they could get his medical records from the Army.

“I already got 'em.” Jack said.

“You do?”

“Yeah. Up in Lightnin Flat.”

“Oh shit.” Ennis said.

“I guess we could have Momma mail 'em to us.”

“No. Let's go get 'em.”

“Now? You wanna go to Lightnin Flat now?”

“The doctor said the more information he had on you and your previous injuries and how you were treated and what medicines you were given, the quicker he could come up with some ideas on how to help you. Lightning Flat can't be but a couple hours drive from here.”

“About that, I guess.” Jack nodded reluctantly; not at all eager to go back there.

“It's only a little past three. We'd get there about five. Where would the old man be? Out in the fields maybe? Maybe we could slip in and out with out him even knowin you was there.”

“Hell, I don't know what he'd be doin at five. I know dinner is at six and he's always there for that.”

“Maybe we could have your Momma bring the papers out to us and we wouldn't even have to go in?”

“I better give her a call and see what she says; see if the old man has cooled down any.”

Jack called his Momma who was thrilled to hear from him and happy to tell him that his father had gone to Casper that day and wasn't expected back out to the ranch until about eight that evening.

They hopped in Jack's truck and took off. They arrived at the ranch at about five thirty and Mrs. Twist had a nice dinner all prepared for them. They had a wonderful visit and she was very happy to hear that he had decided to see a doctor about his headaches. Just before they left, she excused herself and went into her room for a minute and came back out and handed him five hundred dollars.

“What's this for?” Jack asked.

“Honey, I know you ain't got no money for a doctor and I doubt Ennis does either. This is just a loan. Once you get your ranch goin you can pay me back. It's just a little bit a cash that I keep back from the household money. It's been sittin there for years now and I ain't had no call to use it. I can't think of a better use for it.”

“Momma, you don't have to do this.”

“We found a doctor who's willin to take payments.” Ennis explained.

“Good! He sounds like a good man. But you know how doctors are – they want you to keep comin back over and over again and runnin up that bill. This here will give you a little head start. Please take it. Let me feel like I was able to help at least this little bit.” She put both her hands in her apron pocket and refused when Jack tried to return the money.

Jack hugged her close and thanked her. “I will pay you back, Momma. I promise! I'm gonna find work and the first thing I do will be pay you back.”

“Oh nonsense! Startin up a new ranch and all, I'm sure you'll have lots of expenses. Don't you worry none about payin me back. You can do that any old time. It'll just end up sittin in my dresser drawer like it has been.” She gave Ennis a hug then and walked the two of them out to the truck. They said their good-byes and headed home after promising to keep in touch.

The next morning Jack put up a long argument that lasted all the way to Sheridan about how much better he felt and that there was no longer any need to see the doctor. Ennis kept it light and insisted they needed to go to Sheridan anyway as that was where Jack had said he wanted to look for work next anyway. 

Jack had to agree to that and they stopped and picked up a newspaper before going into the waiting room. Jack busied himself reading the want ads and circling a half dozen of them. He was in a good mood by the time he finished scanning them. There were several jobs available and he had only circled those that most interested him. He was busy telling Ennis about each of them when his name was called. He gritted his teeth and gave Ennis a look.

“Do this for me, Jack. Please. Do it for us.” Ennis pleaded in a low whisper.

Jack steeled himself, picked the envelope up off the table that held his medical files, and followed the nurse into the back room.

Ennis gave a great sigh and prayed that this would work. It was true that Jack had seemed much better the last few days but it had been like this since he had come back. There would be a short string of good days followed by several bad days. Ennis picked up the newspaper and started reading the ads. Then he read the sports page and then the front page. He wasn't crazy about reading but it did pass the time. When he had read everything he turned to the want ads and read them again. There were several jobs that he thought Jack could do if he could just hold his temper and stay out of trouble.

Ennis looked at his watch and realized that an hour had passed. He stood up and went over and got a drink of water and stood and watched the fish in the aquarium for a bit then went back and sat down. A few minutes later Jack came out. Nothing was said until they were back in the truck.

“How'd it go?” Ennis asked.

“All right. Not nearly as bad as I thought it was gonna be. The first thirty minutes or so I sat and waited on him while the doctor read my files. He checked me over and asked if I'd had any dizzy spells or if my vision was okay. I told him I wasn't havin any trouble at all like that. Just the damn headaches and the nightmares. You're not gonna believe this – I didn't myself at first – he was over in Nam a couple years before me. He's done a lot a work with returnin vets in San Diego. Then he had to move back here to Sheridan cause his Pa died and he needed to take care of him Momma. He's a good man.”

Ennis grinned. He had made the right decision after all! “So does he think he can help you?”

“He give me some pills. I'm supposed to take one before bed time. It's a mild sedative. He wants to start with the lightest dose first and if that don't work, we can increase it. He says I can take one during the day if I feel a bad head ache coming on but it might make me sleepy.”

“You liked him then?”

“Yeah, I guess so. He ain't what I expected. I didn't have to lay down on no couch or nothin. We just sat and talked. He was in some a the same places I was … over there. He knows. He knows what it's like.”

“You wanna grab somethin to eat before you take off job huntin?” Ennis asked with a satisfied smile. He was happy now and convinced he did the right thing in cajoling Jack to see a doctor.

“Sure thing. You know me – I can always eat!” Jack grinned.

X~~X~~X

The first place Jack wanted to try was a Ford Dealership. They were advertising for a salesman and he thought it would be nice to work clean for a change and the thought of huge commissions lured him in. He came out fifteen minutes later, climbed into the truck and slammed the door. He lit a cigarette and jammed it between his lips before he spoke.

“Fuckin Sales Manager's an ass hole! He says I ain't got the look to be no fuckin sales man. He says I don't talk right and I don't look right. What the fuck does he know anyway? And what the hell's wrong with the way I talk and the way I look?”

Ennis thought about it a minute then asked, “What was he wearing?”

“Huh? How the fuck should I know? Some kind a fancy-assed suit I guess. What difference does it make?”

“Maybe he expects his salesmen to be wearin suits too.”

“Who the fuck cares?”

“Apparently he does. And I notice your mouth is getting slimy again. You talk like that in there?”

“Huh? I don't know. I might a. I got kind a excited when he started askin me all kinds a questions about the different models he sells. I didn't know shit about any of 'em.”

“Bud, you wanna work for people like this you got a play it their way or you're out a the game. It's the same way with ranchin or anythin else. What do you think would happen if he showed up at some ranch dressed in his fine suit and asked for a ranch had job? You think he'd get hired on?”

“Shit!” Jack stubbed out his cigarette and stared out the side window. “Okay. I get it. I ain't qualified to be no salesman. I see what you're sayin.”

“I didn't say you weren't qualified. I'm sayin that if you want a job as a salesman you gotta learn about the stuff you'd be sellin and you gotta look and talk like all the other salesmen.” He gestured around the car lot and there were three other salesmen out talking with customers. Jack looked them over and gave a nod of the head.

“I get it. All right. Where's that paper?”

Ennis handed him the paper and Jack drew a line through several places that he had circled.

“Fuck!” Jack cursed and immediately regretted it. “Oh shit! I mean … I'm sorry, Cowboy. I don't mean to talk that way. It's just that everything is so frustrating! Randall, my buddy, he got me so excited about makin big money as a salesman and all. I figured I'd just waltz in there and they'd be happy to have me and the money would start pilin up.”

“I know you're frustrated, Jack. I understand that. But these things take time. You got a learn about stuff, find out how things are done and you got a talk nice to people if you want 'em to hire you.”

“I know all that! I just figured … I figured that once I was home … everythin was going to work out my way. I'd get this great payin job and you and me would have a place together …”

“Well half of it's gonna come true. You and me and we got us a place lined up. All we got a do is come up with jobs. You'll find somethin. It may not be some high payin job right away but that don't matter none. The job I got will pay my child support, keep a roof over our heads and feed us. All you got a do is come up with any kind a job at all and we get the ranch. It don't matter none where you're workin . Only thing that matters is that you're workin. You can always quit later on if you don't like the job.”

“I never thought of it that way. I guess I could take any little shit job that came along. Once them papers are signed, the place is ours.”

“That's right!” Ennis grinned at him. Happy to see glimpses of his old Jack every now and then.

“Let's see what else they got listed here.” Jack said as he ran his finger down the column. “Here's one at a lumber yard. That'd probably mostly be grunt work. I ought to be able to handle that.”

“Where's it at?” Ennis asked as he got out his street map.

“Parker Street.” Jack said as the two of them looked for it on the map.

“Couple blocks over and down south – right at the edge a town.” Ennis said.

Jack started the truck and headed south. It was easy to find once they got on Parker Street. Jack parked and Ennis waited in the truck while Jack went in. He came out thirty minutes later with a smile on his face. “I got me a job!” he announced proudly.

“I knew you would!” Ennis grinned at him and they headed back on home to Buffalo. 

X~~X~~X

 

Three days later, they got the call from the bank, went over on their lunch hour and signed the papers. The ranch was theirs! Two weeks later they moved in; thrilled that Mrs. Lawrence left all the furniture plus a plate of fresh baked cookies on the kitchen table along with a note wishing them well and a reminder to please remember to water the rose bushes. From that moment on, they became “Mrs. Lawrence's” rose bushes and they took very good care of them.

The going was rough the first few years. The work was easier than Ennis thought it would be; but a lot tougher than Jack thought it would be. Ennis had been toughened by long years of ranch work and it seemed somehow easier now that it was his own place; Jack had not, but was in good shape and struggled valiantly to keep up with Ennis. Jack's health improved by leaps and bounds and by the end of the first year, his camo pants and combat boots were replaced by jeans and cowboy boots and his beautiful dark hair had grown back in. It took a lot of sleepless nights, floor pacing, and visits to the doctor in Sheridan but Jack finally settled down, his nightmares and headaches diminished and he began to thrive.

The living together was the icing on the cake for both of them. Not a single person commented on their living arrangements and Ennis came to relax and believe that Jack had been right all those years ago when he said that it was 'nobody's business'. They worked hard at their jobs, hard on the ranch and every evening ended the day wrapped in each other's arms. The sweet life was theirs!

THE END


End file.
